Trust in your care provider, whether it’s an OB or a midwife, trusting them and their judgement is so important in your pregnancy and delivery. I absolutely believe that you always have the final say in your care. Just because your care provider suggests a procedure or test does not mean that it has to happen. You always have the right to informed consent! All of this being said, you might come across a situation in which the best decision for the health of yourself and your baby is based on trusting your care provider to do what is in your best interest. A good care provider will balance your desires and plans for birth alongside whatever intervention may be required.
Often times doulas hear moms in due date groups, or even clients, who have reached the end of their pregnancy having a trust issue with providers. They maybe had some red flags pop up earlier in pregnancy that their care provider isn’t on the same page as them but they didn’t want to go to the trouble to change doctors or midwives. Or perhaps they didn’t want to hurt the doctors feelings, we hear “they’re so nice” quite often. Maybe they’re just going to “fight them” on this one issue and stay under their care. Let’s say it’s the home stretch in their pregnancy and something has come up medically and now there’s talk about whether or not getting all the way to 40 weeks is still a wise decision or if induction at 37 weeks is necessary. Maybe the doctor is suggesting a cesarean birth rather than your planned natural birth. Now these moms are asking “should I really go through with this induction?” they’re considering playing games with the hospital to keep their doctor happy - scheduling the induction but then not showing up or rescheduling last minute. Maybe they believe the doctor is going to say that a cesarean is necessary but she really doesn’t want one and is trying to decide whether or not to go to the doctor to hear a potentially uncomfortable suggestion. These are the times that it is so important to trust your care provider.
Understand, It should never be blind trust, You should absolutely advocate for yourself and your unborn child. I recommend to my clients that they use the B.R.A.I.N acronym: what are the Benefits? Risks? Alternative options? What does your Intuition say? What if we do Nothing?
Ask questions of your care provider, understand why this intervention, test or procedure is recommended. Sometimes it all boils down to it being a decision, do we wait and see? Do we intervene and potentially prevent (but of course all the risks of intervention and induction etc still apply). It’s all a choice. So do you trust your care provider? Do they have a good reputation for the type of birth you’re planning? Do they usually end up pushing inductions or interventions to get things “moving” at the end? Do they use scare tactics to get you to induce? Do you question whether or not an induction is for their convenience or if it’s actually necessary?
Do your homework. Ask the tough questions. Change care providers if necessary.
If you’ve picked a good care provider that practices in line with what you believe, what you want, your birth plan. You trust them, their expertise and judgement. Then you know when they say it’s time for XYZ that isn’t a part of your birth plan you can trust that it’s the actual truth, it’s a legitimate need for health concerns. As I said before, still - do your due diligence, research the proposed test, intervention or procedure. The bottom line is, the relationship between you and your care provider must be based on trust. Without trust, the foundation of your relationship is flawed and can lead to questions and doubt when time counts.
If you aren’t sure whether or not your care provider is a good fit for you, a great childbirth education course can help you ask the right questions! I’m happy to help you find a great in-person class in Denton or other towns in the Dallas, Fort Worth area. There are also wonderful online options to fit your busy schedule! Hiring a doula with local resources and connections can help you with your search for a great care provider to help you have an amazing birth!
Rebekah Lewis provides birth doula services in the North Texas area including Denton, Decatur, Gainesville, Krum, Aubrey, Flower Mound, Grapevine, Coppell, Highland Village, North Fort Worth, Keller, McKinney, and surrounding areas.